How to help children cope

Scott Eslinger/The Beaumont Enterprise file photo Alexsis Stanaland, 7, of Port Neches, and her sister, Suzanne Stanaland, 4, wait at Ford Park in Beaumont for the next bus to take them to a San Antonio shelter.

Children respond differently to disaster, depending on their understanding and maturity, but it's easy to see how events like Hurricanes Katrina and Rita can leave a child feeling a good deal of anxiety. Kids who lived in the track of the hurricane felt firsthand the threat of danger to themselves and those they care about. Now that the danger has passed, it's important to comfort your children and reassure them that they're safe. It's also important to be open and honest with them in discussing unseen consequences of the hurricane for your family.

Take care of yourself first

Remember to take some time to deal with your own feelings and needs, so that you can continue to provide the comfort, reassurance and stability that young children need.

Pre-school-aged children

Such behaviors as bed-wetting, thumb sucking, baby talk or fear of sleeping alone might worsen in young children or reappear in others. Children might complain of stomach cramps or headaches and be reluctant to go to school. It's important to remember that these children are not being bad. They're afraid and their feelings are real.

Here are some ways to help preschoolers cope with their fears

• Reassure them that they're safe. Provide extra comfort and contact by discussing the child's fears at bedtime and giving them plenty of hugs.

• Get a better understanding of their feelings about the entire event. Talk with them and find out each child's particular fears and concerns. Answer all their questions, responding with respect and comfort.

• Structure children's play so that it serves as a constructive outlet for expressing fear or anger.

• Try to create routines for them - e.g., daily walks, consistent bed times.

Grade school-aged children

n Children this age ask many questions and it's important that you try to answer them in clear and simple language. If a child is concerned about a parent who is distressed, don't tell a child not to worry-that will just make him or her worry more.

Here are several other things to remember with this age group

• Be realistic in your reassurances. Don't say disasters can't happen again. Children will know this isn't true. Instead, say, "You're safe now and I'll always try to protect you." Remind children that disasters are very rare.

• Monitor children's television viewing. Seeing replayed images of the hurricane and its damage can be frightening to children, especially if they think the event is happening all over again. Limit the amount of media coverage they see. Schedule activities-dinner, a walk, story reading, drawing, or a movie - during the evening news hours. Talk with them about what they have seen on TV. and their reactions.

• Encourage expression through play or drawing. As with younger children, school-aged children sometimes find comfort in expressing themselves through playing games or drawing scenes of the disaster. Encourage them to do so and then talk about it.

• Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know." Part of keeping discussions open and honest is not being afraid to say you don't have all the answers. Explain that disasters of this kind cause troublesome feelings even in adults.

Adolescents
Adolescents often try to downplay their worries. It's generally a good idea to talk about them anyway, keeping the lines of communication open and honest about the emotional, physical, and financial impact of the hurricane on your family. When adolescents are frightened, they might express their fear through acting out or regressing to younger behavior.

Remember when dealing with teens ...

• Provide careful supervision and additional support, especially for those teenagers with pre-existing emotional problems such as depression.

• Ask, as part of dinner conversation, how or if the hurricane was discussed at school.

• Monitor their media exposure to the event, including information received on the Internet.

• Help children find ways to help others - no matter what age the child. Helping others to deal with tragedy can reassure and help the child cope. Children can draw pictures to give to others, write letters or help prepare meals.

For more information or to make a donation, contact the National Mental Health Association at (800) 969-NMHA or www.nmha.org

Source: National Mental Health Association

Books, tapes use age-appropriate language, activities to help young kids

You want to shield your children from the pain, stress and fear that accompany a natural disaster, but as hurricanes Rita and Katrina proved close to home, that might not be possible.

One thing you can do is offer children some resources that speak their language, books and movies that communicate to them in ways they understand.

Another thing is to encourage them to use creative outlets to express their feelings.

Kids aren't always comfortable or skilled with words, especially in difficult situations. Art, puppets, music, or books might help children open up about their reactions.

Here's a list of some materials that might help. More exist.

Some freebies can be ordered directly from FEMA by calling (800) 480-2520 or writing to FEMA, P.O. Box 2012, Jessup, MD 20794-2012. Also, check FEMA for Kids.

AGES 3-8

• The Big Flood, by Wendy Pfeffer and Vanessa Lubach. Ages 4-8. How one community responded when the Mississippi River flooded in 1993.

• Disaster Preparedness Coloring Book, by American Red Cross. Ages 3-10. You can download this 26-page PDF file at the Red Cross Web site.

• Hurricane, by David Wiesner. Ages 4-8. A giant storm is experienced through the child's perspective. How two boys turn their hurricane-torn backyard into an adventure land.

• The Magic School Bus Inside a Hurricane, (Magic School Bus Series) by Joanna Cole and Bruce Degen. Ages 4-8. A tropical storm catches the Magic School Bus inside the eye of its hurricane, providing firsthand information on changes taking place in air, sea and land.

• Fire Truck, by Peter Sis. Ages 4-8. A little boy wakes up one morning to discover he's turned into a fire truck. The book focuses on his imaginative rescue missions.

• No Dragons for Tea: Fire Safety for Kids and Dragons, by Jean Pendziwol and Martine Gourbault. Ages 3-8. A low-key approach to fire safety for kids.

• Emma and the Night Dogs, by Susan Bivin Aller and Marni Backer. Ages 4-8. Inspired by the Connecticut Canine Search and Rescue, Inc., the book presents a touching view of search dogs in action through a fictional story about a lost boy.

• Boy and a Bear, The Children's Relaxation Book, by Lori Lite. Introduces 3- to 9-year-old children to a relaxation technique called circular breathing, an effective technique for helping children decrease anxiety levels and manage stress associated with traumatic incidents.

• Jason and Robin's Awesome Hurricane Adventure, workbook (ARC 5044) and video (ARC 5044V) designed for children in grades 4-6. A Red Cross publication.

• Adventures of the Disaster Dudes, (ARC 5024) video and Presenter's Guide for use by an adult with children in grades 4-6. A Red Cross publication.

• After the Storm, coloring book (ARC 2206, English, or ARC 2206S, Spanish). A Red Cross publication.

Ages 9-12

• Floods, (Restless Planet) by Emma Durham and Mark Maslin. Ages 9-12.

• I Know What to Do: A Kid's Guide to Natural Disasters, by Bonnie S. Mark, Aviva Layton and Michael Chesworth. Ages 9-12.

• Rescue, (Dorling Kindersley Eyewitness Books) by Claire Watts. Ages 9-12. A reference book that teaches children about emergency rescues. Includes information on how to survive until help arrives.

Unspecified reading levels

• Emergency Animal Rescue Stories: True Stories about People Dedicated to Saving Animals from Disasters, by Terri Crisp. A dedicated Emergency Animal Rescue Services (EARS) team saves animals from well-known natural and man-made disasters.

• Storm of Spirit, by Nancy Martin-Rouse. Tribute to children and families who have survived natural disasters.

• My Hurricane Story, to order, go to The Children’s Psychological Health Center, Inc.